For the unmarried expat, what seems to lurk just behind
the obvious questions concerning living in Thailand .. just
after the, "What's it like," or the
cost of
living questions. The dominant question seems to be,
"What about getting a Thai women to live-in?"
The problem is actually not in the question. It's in the
answers many expats get that propels them into a false reality
perpetuated by myth, hype and innuendo .. and a spiral of
waste.
How dare I cite such a worn cliche! But it describes so
many situations where a man is hell-bent on finding wife
or regular girlfriend. Before falling victim to the same
sorts of waste, ask yourself a few pertinent questions.
These are just to get you thinking. Dozens more
that, if answered accurately, might keep your name off the
rolls of failure. The following is a scenario that has played
out any number of times.
John moved to Thailand after a failed marriage in the west.
Things had gone sour after 30 years of marriage. He had worked
hard in his profession, saved his money and reached an early
pension age.
On his first visit to Thailand, John had toured for
several months. He especially liked the temperate climate
of the north, and especially the willowy young ladies of Lanna.
Chiang Rai seemed the perfect town in which to settle. That's
where he met "Nit", a young woman .. almost a girl .. in here
early 20's. John promptly fell in love.
After going home to finalize his divorce, settle affairs and
cash out his investments, John headed back to Thailand with
visions of his pretty young fiance to be dancing in his head.
He had it all planned out. He would marry, build a house
in Nit's idyllic village and live the lifestyle that he had
earned.
The "sin sot" aka "bride price" came as
a surprise. But Nit was worth the Bt 300,000 her father demanded
for such a lovely daughter. The wedding proved to be a wondrous
affair. Nit's mother suggest Bt 50,000 of gold as a wedding
gift. The wedding turned out to be a bit pricey, but it was forever, right?
When John went shopping for land, he discovered that foreigners
can't own land in Thailand. No worry, the family reminded. Simply
put the chanode in Nit's name. By the time the love nest had
been built and furnished, John had burned through Bt 4,000,000.
It actually sounded cheap compared to prices back home.
Needing transportation and not liking motorcycles, he bough
a new pickup truck for Bt 800,000. It was simple to register
the truck in Nit's name .. and she needed a motorcycle to
make here daily trips to the local wet market. Bt 60,000 sounded
cheap.
John spent so much time at home with Nit that he began to
grow restless. He found that they had less to talk about every
day. Conversations proved difficult because of his limited
ability to speak Thai. And while Nit was lovely, she had not
picked up his language any faster than he had learned Thai.
Nit spent more and more of her time watching Thai TV and chatting
with the neighbor women. Looking for any opportunity to speak
his native tongue, John began frequenting expat watering holes
in Chiang Rai town. That's when he chanced upon "Nui".
"Nui" is Thai for "butter" and her skin
looked just a smooth. Nui's eyes
twinkled just enough and her language skills proved superb.
They talked and joked on any number of John's ever more frequent
visits to the bar.
It turned out that Nui lived in a village about 20 km distant
from John and Nit. One day she invited John to a
visit. She didn't start work until 2:00 PM.
John visited Nui more frequently than he knew he should. He
kept telling himself that it was because he could talk to
her. She also paid more attention to him than Nit did.
That's about the time Nit's Uncle Wera came to visit. It made
life in their happy home a bit less happy. But John decided
to stop visiting Nui and pay more attention to Nit. But a
week later, Auntie Lek showed up with their 2 children. One
day, frustrated by the lack of privacy, John decided to visit
a watering hole or two in Chiang Rai town.
After an afternoon of libations, John returned home to find
a number of cardboard boxes stacked out front in the driveway.
His suitcase perched on top punctuated the notice that he
may no longer be welcome. A terse conversation with Nit confirmed
his eviction from "her house".
John spent most of the evening in the bar where Nui no longer
worked. She had left for Chiang Mai with a smooth talking
farang who drove a Toyota Corona.
John had fallen victim to a series of bad decisions, laziness
and loss of face delivered to his ex via the bamboo grapevine.
The following day, Uncle Wera and a police
officer turned up at the guest house where John had taken
temporary residence to take possession of Nit's pickup truck.
